Just tried to write about why I am sad and disappointed but cant seem to get the words out without it sounding trite.
Its sad when things dont work out they way they should, when people change and no longer hold the same values, when friends are grieving and there is nothing that you can do to make it any better, when you feel powerless and a little useless.
Its disappointing when things are so close to succeeding and then fall apart for no apparent reason, when it looks like things will improve and they dont, when you set your heart on something and know it may not come through.
It seems lately that I can only thinking of whingey things to blog about (so I haven’t). I don’t want to be a whinger. I wish there was something inspiring and happy that I could share with you. But I can’t think of anything. So I’ll make something up.
At this point I have a flash of inspiration and think of many happy and inspiring things that have happened this week. I think that maybe I should spend longer dwelling on the good things than getting in a flap about the miserable things.
Happy and inspiring item #1
I had a birthday brunch last Saturday. I made waffles (new waffle-machine for my birthday), gingerbread men, pancakes, and cooked bacon and sausages. We all drank champagne. I felt very loved and well-fed and slightly inebriated.
Happy and inspiring item #2
You may recall my distress at the Royal Mail’s decision to sabotage my birthday by striking. It has, however, worked out well for me this week as I have arrived home from work EVERYDAY to find that a pressie has arrived in the post. Long may it continue.
Happy and inspiring item #3
One of my good friends travelled all the way from Lancaster to London especially for my brunch on Saturday. She made to about 2 miles away from my house and the clutch went in her car. She was told that Herbert (the car) was irreparable and began the hunt for a new car. To cut a long and rambling story short. Yesterday Herbert went to car hospital and got fixed. For only £50. After lots of praying. Hooray.
Happy and inspiring item #4
This week, as part of my job, I went to a happiness workshop. I am learning that we can each take a little bit of control over our own happiness. Obviously some circumstances are out of our control (like seling my flat), but not everything. I am resolving to take control of my happiness in the following ways:
a) think about the good things that happen each day and not just the bad; b) go out more, see friends more and watch less TV; c) start volunteering again; d) smile.
What would make you feel happy?
… is that when you’re feeling really poorly, coughing and spluttering away, and with people telling you how dreadful you look/sound, is that if you go home to curl up in bed with a mug of hot ribena (which is what you really want to do), you don’t get paid.
Good news on the flat front. Lots of people are coming to look round and all really like it (and so they should).
Bad news on the job front. Am sinking into a mire of depression as I doing an admin job. Again. Despite being educated to MSc level and being, most definitely, a people person. There are several things I am interested in doing, in the short term but apparently I don’t have the right qualifications. I can’t even work as a Teaching Assistant because I don’t have an NVQ. Grr. Damn education.
Anyways, rant over. Trying to focus on the excitement of selling the flat and buying a yummy house with a garden. And a dishwasher. And a utility room.
The problem with facebook is that when it’s your birthday, noone phones or texts you to wish you Happy Birthday, they just leave a message on your wall which you don’t check because you’re at your parents and then you end up feeling very unloved on your birthday. This is particularly bad when your birthday falls in the middle of a postal strike and noone posts you anything either in case it gets lost in the backlog.
I should be grown up enough not to let it bother me but, having slept on it, I’m still sulking.
Also I didn’t get a cake.
… are usually boring, too long and quite depressing.
They should be abolished.
So tired after a day of meetings that I can’t think of anything more exciting to say. Except that I’ve just baked 25 cupcakes to take to work in order to a) encourage some of my workmates to talk to each other, b) to celebrate my birthday (which is on Sunday) and c) because I love baking cakes and then making people happy by feeding them cake
Today I am fasting. I’m not trying to brag. Just wanted to tell you that I think I may be confused about what fasting is about, thats all.
I have convinced myself that if I fast today, the people who are looking round my flat will put in an offer.
I was planning to fast before I knew there was a viewing but somehow am sure that this means I’ll get an offer.
I may be disappointed. Sometimes, its a shame that God doesnt work by rewarding our good deeds. On the other hand, it does mean that God will do good things for me without me sacrificing food (which makes me very cranky).
I am not very good on theology. You may have noticed.
…find it really hard to blog when you’ve been away for a while. So much has happened in the past few weeks that I can’t come up with any witty anecdotes or amusing stories to entertain you with. So, in a brief and unentertaining manner, here is what I have been up to:
A holiday – it was lovely
Viewing 10 houses in one day up North (Birmingham) – exhausting and not very fruitful
Starting new job in mental health promotion – currently quite dull (am hoping things will get a bit busier and more exciting)
Endless tidying of flat for very few viewings – disappointing.
And now that I have got over the hurdle on The First Post After a While of Not Posting, I can attempt to write something interesting next time.