I was on a training course last night. It was long and hot and in a stuffy little airless room so I drank vast quantities of liquid. When it finished I dashed to the toilet – it was already occupied. I stood and waited, legs crossed for what seemed like forever. Finally they came out. I had my hand on the door ready to go in and someone started talking to me.
So, you’re a teacher then?
No, I work in pastoral care in a school. [Please let me do a wee]
Oh. Whats you’re job title?
Pastoral Assistant. [I need a wee. I need a wee]
I once applied for a job like that. Do you enjoy it?
Yes. Sometimes. [Please stop being nice and talking to me because I am going to have to wee very soon or it will be unpleasant for all involved]
What school do you work in? Is it primary or seconday?
[Can’t hold it anymore] Really sorry, I have to go to the toilet. [Sweet relief].
I’m not sure what the etiquette in this situation is. Any tips?